Last month's run in with the furry bandits was not the first time these suckers have messed with me.
First it was while camping up at the Barrens, a site in rural Wisconsin that my parents have camped at since well before I was born, with me happily carrying on the tradition and introducing a whole new crop of people to the wonder that is the Barrens.
The view upstream along with our rope for our floaty devices.
How I wish I was there!
My buddy Jack was our hero, climbing up the tree to retrieve
the parachute man from the firework we had set off
Efforts to dislodge Jack are futile
Behold the shining that is the Big B in all his glorious pastiness.
One of the first trips up there sans parental supervision and I lost my mashed potatoes to the little thieves.
I'll admit this first time was my fault. I left them out on the table covered in tin foil and when I woke up in the morning, the foil was all torn and there were these teensy tiny claw marks clearly delinating where they had stuck their grubby little paws into my leftovers.
Okay, so maybe I wasn't going to eat the potatoes since I forgot to put them in the cooler. Still! The principle.
On a more recent camping trip just this past summer in Iowa for a family reunion, they declared war.
It was in late August and the weather was miserable all weekend. Deathly hot and humid with no breeze at all, even out on the lake. Add insult to injury, and raccoons raided my Aunt's campsite, breaking into coolers and stealing string cheese and other delectables. One of my coolers was broken into as well, but they could only open the beer cooler and thankfully for my sister and I, raccoons haven't figured out how to open bottles that require an opener. I'm sure if they were twist off we would have been in trouble.
That was just the first night. The second night my sister made me sleep on the outer side of the tent next to the coolers because she was scared that they would be back. I was scared too but I played it off like I was cool.
She had good reason to fear; they came back and I woke up in the middle of the night to someone digging in our cooler again. I think I said "Hey!" and batted at the wall of the tent and scared them away. Then shortly after I heard my dad yelling at another one by his tent.
The next morning his girlfriend admitted she had purposefully put breadcrumbs around their tent in order to lure them in. Apparently she had raccoons as pets once. Not sure how she was planning on getting one home, exactly, as my dad would so not be cool with that.
The third night, we put our coolers on the other side of the tent and placed heavy objects on them to foil the crafty little buggers. Good thing too, because our food cooler had a latch and it was undone when we woke up, although the weight on top seemed to keep them out.
Hah! Their tiny pathetic raccoon muscles were no match for human intellect. I think.
But maybe there's a secret raccoon communications network. Hell, for all I know they traverse the internet all the time and use email.
Somehow the war movement has made its way from Iowa and Wisconsin back to the home front. The roly poly masked mammal that did its best to kill my car in a suicidal dash was the first sign.
Tonight, they took advantage of our forgetfulness here at the Doll House. We left the garage open, and when the Big B went downstairs to grab his laundry he noticed the garage light was on (yay, he can do his own laundry! Big steps people).
When he opened the door to the garage to see why the light was on, he realized the garage door was open just before we heard a scabbling noise and saw one of the little shits skittering away from our garbage bin.
They are definitely out to get me. I bet they're even using our own wireless to email each other.
5 comments:
Sure glad we don't have those little thieves here in OZ. I find their antics somewhat comical...but then the only experience I've had with them is TV.
Over the years I've had my camps raided by Crows, Goats, Foxes and even Eagles once. (though I did have a goat skin pegged out to dry)
I am laughing so hard at the girlfriend thinking she would be bringing home one! OMG! LOL!
They are out to get you! It's not paranoia.
On the very first camping trip I had with your dad I brought way too much food (big surprise) and had to put a tuna salad out on the riverbank.
The salad was in a gallon ice cream container - the kind with a handle.
The entire container was gone. Some little bastard had come along with, as you say, their little pathetic hands, and picked up the container by the handle, and carried it off to their family.
We laughed our asses off after I was properly aghast and bitched loudly about it.
Tempo--Considering the list of poisonous creatures on your last camping trip, I think I'll keep the raccoons over your critters :)
Deborah--At least we know the raccoons have excellent taste in summer salads!
Your belief that the racoons are out to get you remind me of stories I have heard about a blogger who believes that octopus are out to get him. But that is just crazy talk, right?
Heaven forbid if the cephalopods ever join forces with the masked bandits!
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