There's an Incubus Love Song for Every Boyfriend I've Ever Had

Don't believe me? I'll prove it!

I'm a big Incubus fan. Been a fan since well before Make Yourself (with it's famous singles "Drive" and "Pardon Me" ) debuted.

When I was still a music snob, it was very important that the distinction was made.

"Oh, I knew them before anybody liked them."

As if that confers some sort of majesty to the fan, as if recognizing talent before it's time is something special to get snobby about.

I've since learned that good music is good music, and if your current favorite group/singer hasn't hit it big yet, if you're a good fan, you'll try to be a part of helping them make it big and sharing their awesomness with the world. Now you won't get me to stop sharing my music with you.

"Just listen! I know you'll like her/him/them! Listen to this part! Isn't it SO incredible?" and variations thereof.

Back to my point, however, as I seem to have strayed.

One of my favorite parts about Incubus was the lyrics. The actual music is excellent too, but the lyrics were perfect for my disenfranchised youthful self.

"Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things"
If that isn't an anthem for growing teenagers everywhere, I don't know what is.

Another point in their favor? Their lead man, Brandon Boyd, is an incredibly gifted signer and is gorgeous to boot. Even before he cut off his dreadlocks in favor of a less-smelly hairstyle, I was in love with him.

Their love songs just made me fall for him more deeply than I thought possible for someone I've never actually met in real life. A man who is that beautiful, who can sing like that, who is SENSITIVE on top?

Pure icing on the cake, honey!

Coincidentally or not, I realized the other day that almost every single one of my more serious relationships had an Incubus song as "our song". If this isn't proof that women do all the choosing of "our songs" (because men don't care as much) it's at least proof in my past relationships.

First there was Jared. My first relationship to last more than a few days/weeks/months. He was shy, quiet, played the trumpet and could dance like no other white boy I'd seen. He made me look great on the dance floor at junior prom, and that's a feat (as my BFF will most empathetically back me up on). Our song was from Make Yourself which debuted during my high school years. He was a year older and during my senior year, he was doing his freshman college year up north in Duluth. Although where I grew up was north of the Twin Cities, it still wasn't quite as far as Duluth, which is a beautiful city on the shore of Lake Superior. We did the long-distance thing for awhile. Subsequently, our song was naturally I Miss You.

A truly beautiful and endearing love song. Still one of my favorites to this day, especially the acoustic versions.

Cory was a short-lived romance but he was IN A BAND, and the lead singer, no less. So he gets a brief look.

Our song was Stellar off of Make Yourself. He once sang it to me in his bedroom in his mother's basement. I didn't swoon or anything, but it was a sweet gesture from a mostly sweet boy.

I'm counting Kieran in here, even though we dated just about three months or so. We had met at a rave, getting into one of those all-night philosophical discussions and didn't realize the entire night had passed us by. Kieran had the most gorgeous pair of man-boobs underneath the hairiest pelt of chest hair. His furriness on the chest was only rivaled by Austin Powers. We split after a few months when it became obvious that we were heading different directions.

Kieran: I just don't think we want the same things.
Me: What do you mean?
Kieran: I mean, if you saw me in 15 years and I was pumping gas, would you be happy for me or would you pity me?
Me: If that's what you wanted to do with your life, I'd be happy for you.

My older, wiser, more cynical self responds "YES I'd pity you, you dumbass! You're paying $15k a year to go to a 4-year accredited university for an education. You'd damn well BETTER not be pumping gas for a living in 15 years!!!"

Ah youth. But Morning View had just been released and we were in the throws of dating and heavy petting. While Aqueous Transmission didn't necessarily fit us exactly, I made it fit anyways. Ironic considering that I couldn't fit my square-peg self into his round-hole life.

Then there was Sean. We worked together downtown and he was my first serious "adult" relationship. I don't like to dwell too much on this period of my life (suffice it to say, Sean was a jerk. Any man who gets upset with you because you read too much & don't pay enough attention to them while you're both just sitting in front of the TV has serious issues). We actually worked on the same floor and so we often were riding in the elevator together. Naturally, Crowded Elevator off of Incubus' EP When Incubus Attacks Vol.1 was the song for us.

Years later I'm kind of pissed that I wasted such a good song on him.

Finally there's the Big B. We met through a mutual friend before I dated Sean. He dated another girl, I dated the Asshole, and we were both single at the right time three years later.

We fight, argue, and discuss as way of saying "I love you". It's our relaxation, our dynamic, and it works great for us. Doesn't leave everyone around us comfortable 100% of the time, but frankly, we don't care.

This is why Dig off of the Light Grenades album was OUR song. It matched us so perfectly--how we fight, we make up, and we understand that when one of us is being a jerk, all we need do is remember the person they were the day before (pre-jerkiness) and help them bring that aspect to the fore once more.

This was also the song we danced to at our wedding.

These aren't all of the love songs they've sung, by any means. But at this point, I'll have to "make" any new ones match the Big B and I, since I don't plan on giving him up for anything.

I'd even give up chocolate and ice cream for him.

Okay, so maybe this one isn't Incubus, but Sarah has been one of my fav's since before the first Lillith Fair.

And this is a gratuitous addition because I was digging around YouTube and saw that there was a video for this song, and it's one of my all-time favorite Incubus songs. Enjoy A Certain Shade of Green, my personal favorite to blare loudly in the car during rush-hour traffic.

And the anthem of angsty youth everywhere....Favorite Things.

Favorite Things--Incubus
I'm thinking of my soul's sovereignty
Yet I know, everything you hate in me
Fill me up with over-pious badgerings
Throw them up one of my favorite things

Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favorite things, my favorite things

Remember all the lessons fed to me
Me the young sponge, so ready to agree
Years have gone, recognize the walking dead
Now aware that I'm alive and way ahead

Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favorite things, hey yeah
Oh yeah I'm so happy

I see you looking, I know that you're thinking
That I'll never go anywhere
Things that I've promised and the things that I've seen
I don't really expect you to care, no

Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favorite things, hey yeah
Oh yeah and I'm so happy

Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favorite
Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favorite things